Two foots are totally useless inconsistent creatures are they not?

There is nothing I like better than making a mess, but I usually get ticked off for my troubles. Despite this I normally don't miss an opportunity to excell! Have to keep them on their toes.

Today was a good example. It has been a horrible few days, stuck inside whilst it pours down with rain - our drought seems long ago. Anyway, B let himself out and went outside to attack a willow bush, and he brought the branches in, evidentally pleased with himself.

Good one I thought - a chance to get into trouble so I started by inspecting it. Then I progressed to removing the leaves, chopping up the branches, and arranging them in an artistic way, at which point I paused to admire my handy work.




Expecting a good telling off, to my amazement I was praised. Totally different response to when I was similarly artistic with the wire the other week.

Then it dawned on me. I had been tricked. The branch was there to distract me from a more worthwhile piece of destruction, of a computer, or such like. Feel like I have been had!

Morning all.  The dreaded carrying case came out today.  After a bit of a fight I was eventually squeezed in and got taken to the vets.  Hopped onto the scales, weight was 4.6kg, as before, so no growth in past few months but at least I have not shrunk like the Tedster. Otherwise I am in fine condition - just the right weight for my size.  He tried to have a closer look at my teeth put I put up a strong fight and he eventually gave up before I needed to growl at him - apparently I did this to EJ the other day.

Then I felt a bit of a prick.  Apparently I have got tough skin, well its all those darn injections they give me every 6 months or so.

Oh well, safe for the next few months.

I've been away for a spell at my holiday hotel whilst the twofoots went up to Durham. At first I thought that due to my extreme naughtiness I had been sent away to the naughty buns home, so since my return I have been unusually affectionate, following the twofoots everywhere, even S! They turn round to look for me and I am already at their heals. Must not get sent away again. Must be good.

S is tempting me. She has bought a new rug for the front room. How long can I resist the odd dig?



First thing I did on my return was to go around my old haunts chining everything so that everyone knows they are mine!

 

Then I had to lick B's old trousers clean.



That, and the goodness, proved to be too tiring, so it was time for a snooze. Bruno, you may be heavier than me, but I think our profile is similar.



Oh, and whilst I have been away I have more or less stopped moulting. Apparently I look quite hunky now!

Some one has been nibbling spy holes in my bedroom curtain. A total of 7 have mysteriously appeared today, and the culprit has, er, not come forward and owned up. I was thinking of blaming Bella and Greta, but they live too far up north. I was going to blame Reggie, then I remembered he was either terminated or fled the county. Who could it be?  Ah yes, EJ sits near there when he eats his dinner. let's blame him!

Managed to escape the dining room and was able to nibble around the edge of S's new shoes! Unusual target for me. 

 Then straight upstairs into the spare bedroom/S's office. Attacked various items including the new suitcase before I was put outside to calm down.

Some people have no sense of fun. And the person with the least sense of fun wants to see me. Summoned to see the vet! Still, perhaps they will be able to do something about my moulting. I'm sure I will go bald if hair keeps falling out at this rate!

An estate agent came to value the house today, and admire my excavations of the carpet. Not impressed that she wants to cover them over!  I was kept out of her way until she visited the dining room. What a big rabbit she said. (What would she make of my brothers I thought!). She tried to give me a stroke, but I was a bit stand-offish and decided to give her some bunny butt.

This prompted her to tell an alarming tale of a relative who got married, dressed her rabbit up as a bridesmaid and took it to the wedding. Thank-goodness none of our lot are likely to get hitched, but if they ever think of trying that one on they will get worse than bunny butt, I can tell you!  Time for a snooze, and I will not be dreaming of wearing dresses.

 

Quick question.

When you get hay do you eat it all - every last scrap?

Or do you take out the tasty bits and leave a load of less palatable stuff behind?

Upside down competitions? Since I was got last week my twofoots have starting paying attention to a pesky lump of matted fur on my back foot. You can see it half way down the side of my back foot in this photo. Every decent bun knows that the one thing you don't touch is the underside of a buns back foot, but oh no, they whisk me upside down, and start pulling my matted fur apart, not once, but each of the last three days, and it tickles like mad. It is becomg a bit of a hobby upside downerating me and tickling my feet, and your encouragement of a photo competition is just going to make it worse.

I bet they are planning an embarrassing photo even now!

There you go Bruno. I am a midget in comparison!  I might get better fed at yours.

What a destructive month I have had. I have previously reported on my carpet destruction and sofa nibbling. Today S found more of my handiwork whilst hoovering behind the sofa - apparently I have doubled the area of damage, at least. I have also destroyed the remote control for the TV set-top box. I devote all of my destructive behaviour, well most of it, to the living room.

As a result I am now officially a bad bunny and I have been told that I am banned for ever from said room. If that is the case they are banned from my cage, although I will show some compassion and let them in once a day, as long as they take advantage of my goodwill to top up the food bowl and hay rack.

Whose Bad!

My official portrait

Woke them up at 7.00am this morning, making a noise trying to rip up the carpet in my bedroom this morning. My third carpet attack this week.

Tonight I am going to be in jail because EK has some friends sleeping over and they don't trust me not to cause trouble in the middle of the night.

Thump!

Today I was in the back garden nibbling the lawn when a cheeky magpie hopped up behind me and pecked at my tail! Totally unprovoked.

Cheek!

I turned round and chased him away.

I'm going bonkers at the moment. Twice this week I have been able to get into the front room. I posted a photo of my nibblings behind the sofa. Now I have made a hole infront of the living room door that is much more visible.

The two-foots are very cross with me. B says I need counselling. I'm trying to humour him, so are there any bun counsellors out there who might listen to my thoughts and help me explain why I nom? Otherwise I am due a course of CBT - Caged Bun Treatment.

It arrived this morning. A parcel, addressed to me!



It's not every day I get a big box through the post, but stupid B decided to make me wait until the rest of the family got in this evening before opening it. Was that why I got frustrated and ripped up a bit of the carpet and the sofa in the living room?  I am not supposed to enter on my own but managed to sneak in while S thought I was watching her work in her office?







I was found with a bit of incriminating evidence, and for a while it appeared that all treats were off for the week, when they decided to open the box. Can you guess who it was from?



The post-it on the bag of Carrot Crunchies says Fur Freddie! NAWT Apes!

Clearly not from Maddie.

There was a bag of bananna and other treats, with a similar message and a note, from Boogey!

Thanks Boogey. B says your apes are not Wurfless, and I say try a bit harder to sneak in a gummi bear next time!

There were also some treats for my Simians.  I might relent and let them nom them, if I can be persuaded to forget about the ridiculous fuss about the sofa.

Now, we all need to get acquainted with some new flavours.....

PS. The carrot crunchies are supposed to promote natural chewing activity. Isn't that what carpets and sofa's are for then?

Pah. My pond has almost completely dried out due to the drought and as a result most of my club-rush that I like to nibble when B needs to distract me from carpet,furniture etc, has gone brown. No more until next summer.

Last year I really enjoyed eating apple bark from freshly  cut stems.  We left some branches so that I could try them this autumn, but I am being very unenthusiastic about eating them. Two theories:

1. Either my taste buds have changed  (I do tend to favour some foods more than others, then change my mind), or

2. The drought down here has rather dried out the trees. Last year I tended to stop eating the bark as the cut branches started to dry out, a couple of days after cutting them.  Will have to see if the weather is different next year, and if that influences my diet.

My current favourite is banana.  Over the school holidays I have got into the habit of sitting under S's chair at lunchtime and then pestering her until I am given slices. Yum! Even better than grapes, mind you grapes make a more satisfying mess on the carpet.

Least favourite food. Still the pellets in Mr J's mix. There must be some use for them?

My home grown organic wild-life friendly hay has been a huge success, so much so that I have just finished eating all of it and have no more left until next summer.



The hay was made by allowing part of the lawn sown with wild flowers. This year it was full of a relative of clover called hop trefoil which I really liked eating. The grass was cut, dried for a couple of weeks, and fed to me immediately.

Interestingly I did not pay to much attention to the long grass during the summer, prefering to eat small patches of lawn that were kept very short as a result.

The tall grass attracted lots of insect life, which was hunted by nesting house sparrows, so I was not the only one to benefit.

Even Auntie Karen gave it the thumbs up - high praise indeed.

I'm going to make B harvest more next year.

The only issue was that we do not have a dust extractor, so if I ever sell it (I won't as I want to eat it all) it will be called dusty hay.

Oh well, commiserations. Our 2009 fresh willow is ready for eating, so on to the next home-grown treat.

Well I told you I didn't, and I don't -  spray! I'm not a savage. More to the point, I have been warned that if I do, and get into the habit, B will rethink his policies on male genital mutilation.

I hopped around Auntie K for something like 2 hours, and was generally mauled, grabbed by the ears, and other indignities, but I was well able to put up with that. Let me let you into a secret,. Yes, I reacted in a way I do with no other female I have encountered, but I think she uses pheromone sprays. Just ask the horses!

Then she tried it on. Grabbed me and rolled me over. I thought I was well prepared. None of the house cameras were in a workable state so the sad spectacle could not be recorded, but unfortunately she had even brought one of her own to make sure I was utterly humiliated.

Well let me tell you, I tolerated it for a minute or two, and then she tried this trick of flattening my paws trying to make me look a right wimp, and I thought stuff this, gave a most enormous wriggle, and was free again. She won't be catching me like that again.

Thump!

Auntie K has been a visiting this weekend.

Did she get a good spraying, or did I get my come-uppance?

Latest.....

The Bun BC is in a state of crisis following a move by the Board of Govs to pull an expensive graphic from the election night coverage. Candidates had been alarmed about references to poop, and implications for their character and the Governors were bombarded with complaints last night.

The reporter associated with the swingometer, Snowy Bun, has announced he is about to leave the buncaster, and might even consider working for Fox News.

A spokesman for the Board, a Mr C Wrecks announced that "This is not the first time this individual has been associated with smearing politicians with poop. There was the regretable flag incident. Sometimes you have to hop up for taste and decency"!